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November 28, 2014

Dear Ronin, An Open Letter To My Black Son

As your father, it is my duty to protect you and your sisters, to be sure you are free from physical and emotional harm during your childhood. It’s my job to make sure you are equipped with all the tools I’ve used to navigate the grown-up world.

Fatherhood has presented me with some exciting and scary challenges over the years, and you have helped me be a much better father more than I could have ever predicted. And even though, I wrestle with my own insecurities every day, I want to eliminate that cycle of putting my baggage on to you, as my father did with me. I promise to always make myself available to you for anything, and more importantly, I promise to never lie to you. When needed, I will always share with you my experiences (age-appropriate of course) to help you gain a better perspective to any confusion you may be faced with while growing up, and continuing on into adulthood.

Having said this, (deep breath) I will always be there for you my son… and this next part is the kick-start of an ongoing and sometimes unpleasant conversation we need to have… You need to know that is real, and my personal experience with racism will be different from yours. You will experience racism from a black male perspective, which is something I have never experienced. I promise that if you have questions about racism, I will make sure you get the answers you deserve.

Again, it is my duty to prepare you as best I can… So I encourage you to reach out to our friends and who have firsthand experience with being a black man. You can always count on your uncle , uncle Gerry, along with Grandpa Joseph, and any of my friends to make time for you.

I am so proud that you are my son. You have brought me more joy than you can imagine. You are everything to me, and I will always love you, no matter what!

Your pale and loving Father. 😉

#DearBlackMen

9 comments

  1. Mr_Spann says:

    That was beautiful brother.

  2. ASwirlGirl says:

    Clove, how beautiful! Hold him close, love him dearly and teach him as much as you can. Praying for God’s protection over your son’s life.

    1. Sherasaurus says:

      Thank you Michelle

  3. Clovasaurus says:

    ASwirlGirl Thank you Michelle 🙂

  4. Clovasaurus says:

    Mr_Spann Thanks dude, means a lot hearing that from you. 🙂

  5. RichJones15 says:

    Dear Clove,
    So I’m in the car right, listening to Chonilla…yanno, routine type stuff.
    Suddenly, I heard about this letter you wrote to your son Ronin (Episode ‘Sorry, y’all are on time in.’ – 38:31 mark).
    Then I was like, ‘Yep, lemme pull over right now JUSTTT in case’. I mean, this is one of those topics that’s very dear to me; I immediately embraced for something raw as hell cause I knew my homie Clovasaurus was about to handle his business. 
    As Sherley starts reading the letter live on-air, I couldn’t help but be SO proud of my main man Clove.
    Homie, your words were so thoughtful and poignant. More importantly, the expression that resonated from that letter only reinforced my faith in what being a father truly means. In other words, you are a prime example of what a father needs to be. 
    Now, I’m not a father but I’ve always had that instinct to protect what’s around me. I can’t wait until that day I become a father and partake in the experience of taking care of my child.
    In summary: thank you. This letter is so necessary; for kids like Ronin as well as men like you and I who can never have too many examples of great father figures.
    Just consider yourself a long-standing member of that exclusive list my friend, it’s well deserved.
    Salute & respect.

  6. Nicolas says:

    Love you both, Bro… great letter! As a black male, as many people will see him as first, he will see many different approach from many different people, the way they will talk to him, ask him a question, what topic is appropriate to speak with him or which are appropriate for him to talk about… people will never get to know or be true with him, people will judge… the great part about it is that he has you and Sherley as parents, understanding, down to earth, loving and caring parents. Your teaching will make him ready for this world. A world that only see our abilities by the colour of our skin. Growing up ethnic, with an ethnic name, makes you stronger… he will be like the both you, amazingly strong.. im here anytime you need me!

    1. Clove says:

      Thanks Nicolas for the kind words. He’s everything to me, and I want the best for him. 🙂

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